My Romantic Trip to Wegmans

Posted by Bowb on Feb 29th, 2012 in Not a Boomer? Unemployed and Broke Sucks at any Age, Tips for Staying Sane, WhatNots | 0 comments

Never Go to a High-end Grocery Store with a Hungry Man

Last weekend was hubby and my 19th wedding anniversary. My lovely in-laws sent a check. Usually, money checks go straight to the next-in-line bill bank. This time, hubby wanted to splurge and take me out to eat. NOT!!! I told him I would not enjoy spending precious (aka scarce) money on….something I would poop out and forget. But, hubby is all about the food. His Mother raised him that way.

The compromise? A date night at Wegmans WHERE… I would agree to not add everything up while we shopped and announce tallies while navigating the aisles…AND I would agree to not yell at him and tell him the fresh bread counter would only serve to inflate his tire…AND I would not sneak stuff out of the cart when I realized we were 2/3 done, and I didn’t like the math. Pinky promise. Off we went.

We were like two underage kids with fake IDs at Sizzlers Steak House. Wegmans– albeit super nice and they really know how to suck up to everyone (unlike many restaurants and why this was such a bonus decision!!!)—is not any more expensive than many grocery stores; unless you get silly stupid and lost in the fine, friendly aura of the whole “experience.” And what an experience, it is!

Hubby and I were having so much fun tossing food items into the cart. We were even laughing at ourselves in the fancy cheese aisle, remembering when “We used to buy that $34 brie without even blinking!”

I spent 15 minutes in the flower section inhaling the scents – remembering the weekly bouquets I purchased for home back when paychecks were in bloom.

We were not mourning the past. We were loving the moment. At one personal hot moment, I suggested we find a quiet corner for the cart, and sneak off to the restrooms for a little fooling around. Hubby was too busy drooling over the lobster tank. Bad timing.

Together, we carefully selected scrumptious things. Things that could turn into scrumptious meals and meet (note to me) my freezer and seal a meal criteria. We would light a fire and have a romantic anniversary dinner. Hubby sneaked in some unnecessary cookies and breads. I sneaked in some fresh herbs and ornate veggies. We both agreed pork butt was not an option for the check out.

So, what did this food crazed couple end up tallying on this trip? A whopping $288. While I was breaking out a sweat with a trembling card in hand ready to swipe, hubby was already tasting and rationalizing the expense.

Our stomachs were full, and I eventually won hubby’s attention away from the lobster. But, the food was so rich, and we ate like gluttons. So, where do you think we spent most of Sunday morning? Yeah, I think next time, I will just ask for flowers.

Why Do You Think Prescription Drug Use Has Increased at Alarming Rates?

Posted by Bowb on Feb 24th, 2012 in Not a Boomer? Unemployed and Broke Sucks at any Age, Pets are People, Self-Improvement | 0 comments

Big New Study Shows Americans are Taking a “Startling” Amount of Medications.

A recent Medco Health Solutions study shows there is a 29% increase in the number of women using antidepressants in 2010 compared to 2001, with 11% of middle-aged women using anti-anxiety medications.

I could write about 100 posts on why I think this is happening; all of which sucks royally. Instead, I have decided to open up and share my new addiction to Paxil with all my fellow Bowbs.

During my last job – the need to have and it sucks job – I was depressed. I had to live away from home in a sublet apartment Mon thru Fri. My boss was a Turd in a Suit (aka TnS) who took great pleasure in verbally abusing me in the Executive meetings. To such an extent that my colleagues would bury their heads in their mobile screens, or excuse themselves the potty.

All the money I was making was used to pay down debt incurred from prior unemployment and illness. I was stuck. So, I smiled, and sucked it up. I also caved after breaking down bawling during a physical and agreed to try anti-depressants. They helped.

During my time away, 3 of my 6 house pets passed away. My animals are my babies!!! I suppose one could write a textbook on empty-nester pet transference profiling the likes of moi; but I was like this even when my kids were home. The only difference is the number of pets increased, as the number of live-at-home kids decreased. So, this loss was HUGE. I was empty. I was alone. I was away from my family and away from my precious animals 5 days a week.

The big day came when I lost my sucky job, and moved home. To then be followed with yet another animal loss. NO!!!!

That is when hubby and I decided it was time for a change in my medication. I needed Paxil.

We struggled over the expense. We anticipated the “breaking-in” period of adjustment. While we planned the change, we kept it a secret from the rest of the family. Still, we knew it was time.

So, I trashed my Zoloft, and transitioned over to Paxil. Paxil came home with us in March. Nicknamed “Pax” (Latin for Peace in case any of you forget your Latin), my Paxil is now 10 months old. He is a gorgeous, loving, smart, joyous 80 lb German Shep pup packed into a pill that works – for me – much better than Zoloft.

If you have an animal opening in your heart and home, I strongly recommend this medication. No pill can pack the amount of healing an animal can provide.

I invite you to share your healing stories our furry friends offer. You can bet mine will be ongoing!

“Don’t Retire!” is the Advice

Posted by Bowb on Feb 22nd, 2012 in Self-Improvement, WhatNots | 0 comments

Boomers – - Work Until You Drop!

“My advice is above all don’t retire,” he says. “If you like your job at all, hold onto it. Because getting back in in this era is essentially impossible.”

AP posted an article “For boomers, it’s a new era of ‘work til you drop’”. Okay, I get it. Keep on swimming against the currents and know you are not alone in this paradigm that is shifting. Yes, I do have my hand over my mouth when I am reciting that phrase, but the article said “the paradigm is truly shifting.”

Ya’ll know how I feel about the paradigm shift term. Fluffy words that I have used in business, and laughed about in private. The paradigm is now at a tipping point, and we who threw it out there along with other terms such as “Best Practices,” “Low Hanging Fruit,” “ Next Gen,” and “Outside the Box” are now reduced to becoming a “Paradigm Shifting” class, ourselves. How much does that suck?

I didn’t hold onto my last job. Struggling to hold on to the lifeline was… sucking the life out of me, and there was no inner tube in sight. I let go, and am now riding the waves in hopes they take me back to shore.

As for getting back in this era… you have to read the article . I suggest you do so with a tumbler of wine. I then suggest you plug in your ipod with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” on a 4 hour loop. Pull out one of your favorite self help books, or some Essential Rumi, or Eckhart Tolle, You can even Tweet the Dalai Lama. Whatever floats your boat. Next, proceed to pull your sorry ass out of the falling waters by making pink post it notes of all the terms you find in your search for sanity (Example: “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose,” says Eckhart Tolle) Paste those pretty pink phrases all over your house, pour another tumbler of wine, and go read my post inspired by my Mom. Proceed to shift that damn paradigm back to where it used to be. Think outside the box. Apply the best practices you have learned over your 50+ years, and become the low hanging fruit for a next gen company.

I, for one, refuse to believe that “getting back in this era is virtually impossible.” There is no such word as can’t. My Mother told me so, and Mom is never wrong. Just ask her, and she will concur.

I hope you find this helpful. Believe in Bowb<s>. I do.

Working for a Narcissist

Posted by Bowb on Feb 17th, 2012 in Tips for Staying Sane, WhatNots | 0 comments

What I Don’t Miss About My Last Job

When a Paycheck is Just not Worth it!

As alluded in previous posts, my last job sucked. Well, I loved the people, but my boss (the President of the company) was a Turd in a Suit (heretofore referred to as TnS). I know that sounds crass – and I can’t even take credit for the title bestowed upon him by one of my employees – but it is so fitting. If you look up narcissistic personality disorder in the wiki, this cat’s picture would be splashed on the front page.

So, on the days when I miss my paychecks, I remember the things I don’t miss about the last job that provided same checks.

Here is my list:

The day I found out I had a debilitating infectious disease and needed to bolt to the Doc office 2+ hours away. TnS reply: “But, we have a Management meeting! You can’t leave? Can I expect you back, today?” I was written up for leaving, and upon my return he asked if I was “cured” in front of everyone. When he held my position, he worked from his sailboat. Tanning with his laptop. What do you think he would have done if he had a melanoma alert?

You know your boss is a narcissistic ass when…..

The day we had back to back weekend mega snow storms, TnS reported me to corporate HR for not getting my pansy ass out in the storm from my home 2+ hours away. By this time, I had sublet an apartment (courtesy of a kind friend) 3 miles from the office; just to solidify weekday commute conflicts. But Frosty the Snow Man decided to bring his friends to visit on these Sunday nights. Thanks. I guess I should have executed my psychic abilities regarding weather fronts, put my pansy ass on my cross country skis, and trekked the 100+ miles. Or just ridden in on Frosty’s back. TnS does not drive in the snow. He has a Mini Cooper.

You know your boss is a narcissistic ass when…..

The day my sweet hubby had a heart attack and I was driving into the office, I turned around and worked from home for 3 days. TnS reported me to corp HR for not complying with our agreement that I was not to work remotely. TnS had a heart attack a year earlier, and worked from home for 6 months. I guess his heart was cured. But, during my time working with him, I never saw any indication that he had a heart. Perhaps it was lost at sea sea while sailing with laptop, or in a snow bank while driving his Mini Cooper.

You know your boss is a narcissistic ass when…..

Oh, so many days to report. Rather than ranting about my own stuff (see narcissistic personality disorder), I just as soon not dwell on myself. Rather, I invite you to share your own experiences dealing with this sad disorder in the workplace.

Share your stories…. You know your boss is a narcissistic ass when…..

The How Serious Are You About Making a Career Change Test

Posted by Bowb on Feb 15th, 2012 in Job Searching Sucks, Self-Improvement | 0 comments

Research on the Internet Leads Me to a Smart, Cool Site

I found a dynamic site, run by a powerful woman named Andrea Kay. Perhaps I should have known who she is, but I really have not sought out career advice…ever. My career was more of a “take it as it comes” plan, and it kept coming. Until now. Bet that is a familiar situation to many. I have yet to read any of her books, but I love the titles. She sounds like a woman right up my alley.

On the site, I found a “How Serious are You Test” . While the test is a rating from one to four, I feel the need to input answers

1: If making a career change is going to take more than 30 days, I’d have a problem with that.

Yup. My current career pays nada, and my bills are due next week.

2: I hate doing research and probably won’t do it.

Are you kidding me? Will broke unemployed people really fight this one? Jeeze!!!! If this question tripped you up, there is no way you will ever work for me – when my business is booming again.

3: If I have to think a lot, forget it.

My problem is I think too much, and then forget what I was thinking about.

5: If I have to think about my feelings, that’s not going to happen.

I have become the queen of putting my feelings in their quiet little place. My last boss did not allow feelings, thinking, or sick days.

6: If I have to go out and talk to people, there’s no way.

I am okay with that, but can I wear my baseball hat, yoga pants, T-shirt, and muck boots?

7: I’m not very good at going against others wishes and the status quo.

I think you would get a brutally honest answer about this one from my Hubby.

8: I’m not very good at setting and keeping goals.

Okay, I think we can find the same answer as in #2. Who the hell shows up at work without this skill? Oh, I suppose those who show up late everyday. I get it.

All kidding aside, I understand the need to explore these basic questions when considering a career change. Especially if you are one who has been working in a small IT closet with no windows for 20+ years. Change is tough. The sun can be hot, and the people can be loud. But, change can create space for amazing things!

I suggest you go onto the Andrea Kay site and read some of the posts from people who are sharing their stories, and successes. I will see you there!